The Truth About My Experience With Hypnobirthing

My active labour lasted a gruelling 24 hours. It was long, difficult and definitely painful. I was dilating very slowly and there was always a fear that I would be pressurised into an inducement. My water didn’t break naturally and was broken for me about 16 hours into labour. At that moment, my contractions became unbearably painful. It felt like I couldn’t catch my breath between contractions; they were coming that quickly. I remember grasping my husband’s hand and clinging on with an abstract desperation… for what, I do not know. 

Did hypnotherapy take away the pain of giving birth and magically make the baby come faster? The truth is, no. Not for me. And I estimate that there are very few people who can have fully pain free births, even with tools and techniques as fabulous as hypnobirthing or hypnotherapy. 

However, I have no regrets engaging in months of hypnobirthing before my due date. The simple reason is, my body and my mind were preparing hard for birth; a birth that I had no previous experience of. And I needed for my mind and body to feel at ease with the experience, not to control it.

Us human beings have a great fear of the unknown and the unexpected. Human as I am, my crippling fear was the same - what would the pain be like? Would I be able to cope? What if there is tearing (vomit)? What if the labour is long? And MOST importantly, what if there is too much pain for me to deal with?

It seems (logically) that pain is the one human experience we are all keen to avoid. But when we spend years watching movies and ‘reality’ shows about the pain (and possible complications) of childbirth, we are wired to feel a strong surge of anxiety and fear, wrapped up with a biological desire related to having a baby. The emotions are just so complicated and convoluted. It is hard to know which to address first. I remember finding out I was pregnant and instantly feeling out of control, and then wanting to regain control by controlling all aspects of my pregnancy and upcoming birth.

Hypnobirthing was the answer for me. I learnt that birthing is a natural process that women inherently know how to undergo. The body knows what to do. And the art of birthing is actually to step out of its way. I needed to lose control and be okay with that, trusting that the outcome would be just as it should be.

By gaining knowledge of the process that would take place inside my body and outside of it right from the moment of my first contraction to several weeks postpartum, I was able to begin the process of understanding. Understanding the mechanics of childbirth. Understanding the role of the muscles involved, the hormones, the blood, the placenta and most importantly, the baby, I was creating pictures in my mind of how the process would unfold. It was miraculous that simply engaging in the theory of childbirth, my mind was finding a space of ease for now it was not so unknown anymore, and therefore less to be feared. 

Unwrapping my emotions about childbirth took a lot out of me. Having a hypnotherapist working with me during this time was absolutely phenomenal, and for me, essential. I needed someone to hear me and not judge, I needed a support who was unbiased and also knew the details of birthing, who understood the mind-body connection and would walk me through the process, acknowledging my fears but also my excitement. 

I enjoyed hours with my hypnotherapist, immersed in visuals of what my baby was doing during birthing inside me and what I was doing and experiencing on the outside. Both me and my baby were just trying desperately to see one another, hold one another. We used the power of words to create positive affirmations for the birthing process, and also just remind my subconscious mind that my body was made for this, every contraction was actually a wave bringing me closer to my beautiful boy. 

There were times when the process was so powerful, I felt like I was communicating with my baby and receiving a reply. I would ask my baby to kick and sure enough, within a minute I would feel his little feet kicking away inside me. Never have I felt so strongly bonded to another being. 

I do not take the mind-body connection lightly. Being a hypnotherapist, I have seen clients go through remarkable transformations. As one’s internal world changes, so too does the external. But this time I went through a transformation of my own. I dived into the messy sphere of my own limiting beliefs and chaotic thoughts around motherhood, the rapidly oncoming responsibility and especially the process of birth. 

Using the tools of hypnotherapy, my mind relaxed and my body followed suit. This connection was vital and delivered an experience of trust. I trusted myself to get through it, I trusted my body to deliver this gift to the world, I trusted it knew how to heal aftwards, I trusted my baby would stay calm and happy during labour, and that he knew what to do too. 

And empowered with this trust, this connection, this reassurance of being in the know, the pain didn’t matter so much, the slowness of the process became acceptable. Because with each passing moment, I could feel myself undergoing a miracle. I felt my baby coming closer and closer to being in my arms. And for me, that was worth it all.